Twenty five years ago I stood and promised to love Peter and live in marriage together.  We had no idea what life for us would be like but we knew we wanted to do life together.  On our wedding programme we had printed:

 

This day I married my friend, the one I laugh with, cry with, dream with, the one I love.

  The most significant repercussion of our marriage is our children: Joshua, Jessica, Naomi and Daniel.  They have shaped our lives as much as we have shaped theirs.  When the children were young we would celebrate our wedding anniversary by watching our wedding video or flipping through our wedding album.  We did this because our marriage was the beginning of our family, we did it because we want our kids to understand that marriage is important – but the photos and wedding stories are only one day – our wedding anniversary also gave us the opportunity to talk about living our life together.

 

I want my children to find a friend to love and decide to live life together.  I want them to enjoy that love, but I also want them to know that living life together isn’t a romance movie.  It’s life.

 

In a sense this poem sums up marriage: there will be laughter, and tears, there will be dreams and hard work, there will be love.

  • I married my Friend – a friend likes you for who you are, respects and trusts you. We are still friends, and I believe this to be an important part of marriage.
  • We became Partners – partners for life – a partner is committed to the same ‘project’ as you are – you are in it together
  • We are lovers – God made us to have intimacy – emotional and physical (in the security of marriage)

 

What makes for a good friend?

I am challenged today, as I reflect on this idea of marrying my friend – what is a friend and am I still his friend?  Is he still my friend?  I hope I am but a little self-reflection doesn’t hurt!

  • A friend knows you – good and bad – and still likes you
  • A friend respects you – and tells you when that respect is on shaky ground
  • A friend trusts you – not blindly, but because you are trustworthy – because you have history
  • A friend encourages you when life is hard and your shoulders droop
  • A friend comforts you when things go bad
  • A friend gives hope, reminding you of what is true (regardless of circumstances)
  • A friend knows your dreams and helps you walk towards them
  • A friend forgives when you make a mistake
  • A friend does little things that would make you smile
  • A friend listens and is willing to spend time hearing you talk
  • A friend allows you to be you, doesn’t expects conformity
  • A friend likes spending time with you

We think we can throw anything at our friend and they will still love us – we say that familiarity breeds contempt, that we take our friends for granted and they’ll still love us.  All that may be true – but each of those actions comes from the human heart’s propensity to be self-centered.  If we truly want a good friendship – with anyone – we reign in our selfishness, and focus on being a good friend to our friend. The same goes for our spouse – to be a friend, a good friend, a true friend we need to not let complacency creep in, not let sloppiness or selfishness creep in.  We don’t want to be that kind of friend.

[Tweet “We understand what a good friend is – are we a friend to our spouse?”]

 

We can get distracted with all the marriage stuff out there – and it is good stuff, don’t get me wrong – but if we just go back to the basics – and be a good friend to the one we love – then our marriage would be that little bit stronger.

 

25 years ago I married my friend - and it has shaped my life ever since!

Over to you:

Can you remember something that was on you heart on your wedding day? 

7 Comments

  1. Ann

    Congratulations on 25 years!! (We recently celebrated our 29th). I love the list you have written up on friendship – whether it is within a marriage or between good friends. It also is a great description of what we can have a relationship with the Lord.

    Reply
  2. Lauren Gaskill | Making Life Sweet

    Congratulations!!! What an exciting milestone and a beautiful tribute to your love! I wish you many more years of wedded bliss. 😀 Yay for husbands who are also best friends. (Happy to be your neighbor on Holley’s linkup today!)

    Reply
  3. Karen in Melbourne

    Loved dropping by and having a visit today. Congratulations on 25 years of Blessings with Your Husband and Best Friend. I know the feeling 🙂 am curious to see where we are in a few years time as the children pass into their young adult years.
    Thank you for all the Wisdom you have shared. Especially about the steps you are/have taken as yours have entered into their young adult years.

    Reply
  4. Maria

    This is so beautiful, Belinda. What struck me most is your emphasis on getting back to basics, that by remembering to be a friend to our spouse will make our relationship stronger. I couldn’t agree with you more. We tend to get distracted with our lives–between our children, our work, our home–it’s hard to spend time together and remember what we once were, but your post reminds all of us it’s important to do so. It’s what strengthens us and keep us together. Thanks so much for sharing this on #SHINEbloghop this week. It’s so lovely to read through your inspiring post.

    Reply
    • Belinda

      Thanks again Maria. Sometimes I write something and then as it keeps popping back up – through comments, or social media – I know the message is for me. Since I’ve written this I’ve had to be reminded of the very thing!!

      Reply
  5. Ruthie Gray

    I’m so glad my “friend” is there for me when my shoulders droop! It’s so easy to treat them as less-than and overlook them in the busy-ness of life, isn’t it? I’m so frequently challenged in this area. But I’m working on it – or rather God is working on me! I love your picture, it’s so sweet, Belinda!
    Thanks so much for sharing with us at Tuesday Talk, I’m featuring you tomorrow on my Tuesday Talk page – be sure and come visit! I appreciate you and your godly words, and friendship as well!

    Reply
    • Belinda

      Thanks for the feature Ruthie. I have to chuckle whenever anyone mentions my dress – it is only my generation – my girls just shake their heads!! LOL.

      Reply

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