Being a busy woman is one of the biggest dangers we face.  It robs us of our intentionality, our focus, our purpose.  It side tracks us, exhausts us, and changes us.  And yet busyness can be productive, purposeful and proper.  We are to be busy people – we are to work and use our time wisely.  The key is balance – we are to balance the need to work and get things done with all areas of our life.  That is the trick, and when we fall short that is when we see problems in our family.

 

5 Character Traits for Busy Women

It is all about how we keep busy.  Here are five character traits that can help us maintain that balance:

  • Be intentional
  • Be Wise
  • Be Dependable
  • Be Relational
  • Have self control

[Tweet “Growing in intentionality, wisdom, dependability will help us balance all we need to do in life.”]

 

Be Intentional

Be intentional – know where you are going, know how you are going to get there.  This starts with knowing your spheres of responsibility.

  • First of all there is our own life – we need to be responsible for our attitudes and our choices.
  • Our relationships – our marriage, our children, friends and neighbours
  • Our home and all that it contains
  • Our tasks – be it the mundane of everyday or the opportunities to help others

 

What do you want for each sphere of your life – and how are you going to get there?

 

Being intentional starts with knowing God’s heart:  What does God want of you?  God has a plan for my life – and that is to glorify Him in all that I do.

 

Be Wise

Be wise – depend on God for his wisdom.  Wisdom is the practical application of knowing Jesus.   There are actually three aspects of wisdom referred to in the Bible:

  • Craftsmanship – when they were building the tabernacle the craftsmen were referred to as wise in their craft.
  • Solomon observed nature and drew conclusions
  • Solomon was also given insight into the ways of God

 

We need to grow in all three ways of wisdom – we need to:

  • Study and practice our craft; whether it be the craft of homemaking, parenting, frugality, communicating, teaching etc.
  • Observe the world around us, and draw ‘heart’ lessons. Parables or stories connecting to real life are one of the strongest teaching methods.
  • Know God’s word, learn of his ways by reading His word, the Bible.

 

All wisdom comes from God.  He has given us the ability to learn skills and knowledge, he has given us the ability to think and apply wisdom.  He has sent the Holy Spirit to teach and guide us.

James 1:5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.

To grow in wisdom – to live a life directed by God’s wisdom – we need to ask him for it.  Solomon asked God for wisdom – and he received it.  God will give us wisdom too.

 

Be Dependable

Be dependable – To do what you say you will do.

 

It seems like such a simple response – be true to your word, let your yes be yes and your no be no – but our desire to be dependable quickly crumbles as we take on too much, as we get too busy, as we lose balance and our priorities.

 

Three ways to show dependability

1– Follow through with our parenting

  • I hear myself say, “in a minute”, “hang on”, “be there in a sec”. I don’t really mean these words – they are a delay tactic and I rarely hold myself accountable to being timely.
  • I hear myself change my mind – when I cave in to big eyes, whining voice, or nagging or when someone’s anger, annoyance or disapproval makes me back down.
  • I hear myself letting it go – I said it, but now I’m just not going to make a scene.

If I’m not prepared to follow through don’t say it!

 

2– Reliable with our commitments – I want to be known as a person who is reliable. If a meeting was scheduled I’ll be there – on time.  If I said I’d do something, it will be done – and go the extra mile.  Busyness though stretches our ability to build this reputation – we start over scheduling, forgetting commitments, not doing what I said I would do.

 

3– Consistent with our attitudes – We all have our ups and downs, but overall, I want to be characterised as a person who gives energy, not one who is exhausting to be around. And this all comes down to my attitude – my attitude to my family, the tasks I have to do, my attitude to when things go wrong.    Looking after myself, my whole self – spiritually, morally, physically, emotionally, intellectually, socially – which is hard when we are busy, but it will protect me from letting my attitude slide.

If we are intentional with the decisions we make, if we are wise before we speak, then we need to have the courage to stand by the decisions we make.  Whether those decisions are the quick ‘no, you can’t have chocolate right now’ or the thought out ‘we will go and do this today’ we need to learn to be true to our word.

 

Two things to remember:  If we don’t mean it don’t say it.  If we aren’t prepared for the consequences – don’t say it.

 

Be Relational

Be relational – Be people focused, not task orientated.  Be available.   Be Heart focused

 

This of course is the very core of what being busy is about – getting things done.  But we must remember the reason why these things are important – and that comes down to people – the people we love.  What is a clean out without time to enjoy it with the people we love.  What is money without people around us.  What is a gift or talent without people to share it with.

 

Be intentional with your time – a time for everything, and everything in its time.  Set aside time for the tasks, be focused, and then walk away.  Whether it is finished or not.  This is the key – walk away whether it is finished or not.  There will always be time to work again tomorrow, or later in the day.  But if now is the time to be with people – now is the time to be with people.  The same goes for people people – you may have to walk away from social time because it is time to work.  We all need to use our time wisely – know the purpose of this hour and focus.

 

Be available – people and needs cannot be boxed or scheduled.  We need to be available and sometimes, in some seasons of a mums life that is 24/7.  But that won’t be for always.  Our attitude to be available helps us deal with what can otherwise be seen as interruptions.  They aren’t interruptions when our purpose is to help our family.

 

Being heart focused means that we think deeper than the actions we see – we look for the cause.  A tantrum can be a frustrating thing – it can be inconvenient.  This is the thinking of a busy woman.  When we turn our thoughts towards the heart we start to see a child who is overwhelmed, a child who lacks self control, a child who has faced injustice, a child who is tired.

 

Being relational will turn our hearts towards people even though we may have things to do.

 

Have Self Control

Self control – walking away from my own desires and doing what is right

 

Self control is the basis of maintaining a life balance as a busy woman.  A person with self control will not act impulsively – but rather be intentional.  A person with self control will set limits and walk away when things are not right.

 

We can get caught up in getting a project or task finished and yet we know we need to be getting dinner on, or our little person has asked us to help them, or we know we should be going to bed.  It takes self control to walk away from something that absorbs us, to focus on what we know is right (right task for the right time).

 

It is easy for a busy person to get areas of their life out of balance.  We tend to respond to the urgent needs and send all our focus on that.  By living with self control, we can create time for all things in our life – and if we can’t we have to acknowledge we have taken on too much or we need help.

 

We need to have self control if we are to manage all aspects of our life – and as women we specifically need to manage our time, health, resources and passions along with our responsibilities, relationships and roles in life.

 

I want to be an influence in my children’s lives – and I’m reminded of this quote:

When you show character, people begin to respect you

After time, that respect grows into trust

After time, that trust builds a relationship

When you have relationship with people

You have influence…

 

Being busy, too busy, certainly puts that at risk.

[Tweet “Being too busy puts being an influence in my children’s lives at risk.”]

Further Reading:

Seeing Mum as a Whole Person:  Mum isnt just mum; she’s a whole person and as such needs to look after her whole self – spiritual, moral, social, emotional, intellectual, physical.

Good Character won’t get You to Heaven:  Good character won’t get you into heaven, but that doesn’t mean we should teach our kids what good character looks like.

Doing the Basics will get You Through a Busy Time:  We often find ourselves busy with not enough time for all our responsibilities. When life overwhelms; go back to basics.

It’s Important to Keep your Word when you Talk to your Children:  It is important to keep your word when you talk to your child; your relationship is at risk if you don’t. Let your yes be yes and your no be no.

Do you need help in your Family?

Hi! I’m Belinda

About Me

HI I'm Belinda - welcome to my online space. I am a family life coach and help parents to raise their kids with faith, values and life skills in a way that is intentional, relational and heart focused. I am married to Peter, and live in the far north-west of Australia on a small farm. We have four adult children whom we homeschooled from prep-year 12. They've all left home now. But over the years I have taught and supported mums and dad (both face to face and online). I am passionate about families being a strong and healthy unit that helps the individual to grow but also celebrates the community of family.

Certified Life Coach

Over to you:

Have you found ways to maintain balance in your busy life?

11 Comments

  1. Karen Del Tatto

    I enjoyed this post so much! I am in an extremely busy time in my life, and my family will tell you that “intentional” is my word this year.

    I have been the recipient of much disappointment of cancelled plans by friends whose lives are extremely busy at this time, to the point that we rarely get together, where a whole year or more could go by without getting together. It’s hard because I know they aren’t “intentionally” cancelling plans or don’t want to spend time with me, but the lack of being intentional can still shine through.

    I’ve seen a meme which states that “When a person matters to you, you will make the time.” I try to be that friend as best I can, to the point that I will inconvenience myself if necessary because we never know when we have a “divine appointment”.

    Your wisdom and insights throughout this post have spurred me on in my busyness. The quote you shared at the end of the post was a perfect summary and a great word picture!

    Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    • Belinda Letchford

      Thanks for sharing Karen – it is a good thing for us to see this issue from the receiving side of someone else’s busy. It is hard to keep being a friend in the face of constant disappointment – but I hope that you can be that friend – even though you may see less of each for a season, there may be other ways you can connect.

      Reply
  2. Kirsten Toyne

    I so agree. Busyness can be a distraction from all the things we have within us. It can stop us being ourselves and limit our lives. Being properly focused on what we want and knowing what our talents are helps us achieve what we want. Then busyness can be great. Having the right direction for us often has a lot to do with Self worth and the ability to acknowledge our skills. I am currently writing a series of posts on this topic because it is so foundational in getting what we want from life. Great post. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
    • Belinda Letchford

      I look forward to reading your series Kirsten. You say “Then busyness can be great”. I think this is something we overlook in our use of the word busy – and sometimes I think we over use it because as you say, being busy is a good thing. We need to be productive – we are made to be productive and work hard. I like how you are connecting finding worth in our work as a balance to the over busy we find in our society.

      Reply
      • Kirsten Toyne

        Hi Belinda. We are certainly on the same page here. My series of posts are already up and running on theguiltfreeguide dot co dot uk. It is called The Summer Holiday Self worth Challenge and I have just released number 4 of 8. I would love for you to visit.

        Reply
  3. Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom

    Wonderful read and such great reflections you’ve shared here Belinda.

    I have had “rest” come up continually in my Bible studies, online discussions, etc. I am guilty of getting caught up in the busy – and I didn’t start to slow down until about two months ago. I’m enjoying this slower pace. I’m happier and far more content.

    Thanks for sharing!
    xoxo

    Reply
    • Belinda

      Thanks for sharing Jennifer. Rest is such a interesting concept – we tend (as a society) to see work as busy and rest as doing nothing – whereas we can work and not be busy, and rest without being lazy! I’m so glad you’ve been able to maintain that attitude of rest.

      Reply
  4. Betty

    I could not agree more. I really like being intentional. We should not do things just to be doing them. These are great points that you emphasized.

    Reply
    • Belinda

      Thanks for stopping by Betty. It is challenging to stop and think about how many things we are doing just because we do them.

      Reply
  5. Abi

    Following through on parenting and walking away from my own desires to do what is right (dishes, discipline, etc.) are things I have to work at all the time! It’s so easy to get lazy, yet every choice I make is an example to my kids! Important reminder to make what is truly valuable a priority.

    Reply
    • Belinda

      So true – even when we make poor choices it is an example to our kids!! Thanks for stopping by Abi

      Reply

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