ID-100181972 (1) There is a fine line between standing on your own two feet, and standing on the shoulders of those who have gone before you.  This is an issue that every child has to face – and oddly enough that includes us who are currently parents!

Do you parent the way your parents parented?

Have you thought about why you do what you do?

 Peter and I respect both our parents for the ‘job’ they did as our parents – we involve them in our lives as counsellors, mentors and friends.  As parents ourselves we have done some things much like they did, and we have done some things vastly different.  We have been thankful for the heritage they gave us, and yet we have felt the need to forge our own trail – and our kids, they will do the same when they become parents (I hope!)

Copying what our parents did just because they did it is sort of like the old quip: If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?

We must be thinking parents.  Just because it worked for our parents doesn’t mean it will work for us.

  • We are different people, with different relationship styles, communication styles, different priorities and goals, different passions, weaknesses, strengths etc
  • When we get married, we join two family histories together and become one new family. Our parenting will reflect that new – there will be bits of one or the other, or both, but we need to be true to this new family.
  • Each generation offers different challenges and expectations, and though we don’t want to bow to the expectations of society any more than the habits of our parents, we are living in a different world than the world our parents brought us up in.

The caution with this mindset is that we throw the baby out with the bathwater – ditch everything our parents ever stood for, and just do it our own way – just because we can.  This is an attitude that refuses to learn from our parents, refuses to learn from those who have been there and done it.  This is the attitude we accuse teenagers of having.  Stubborn, wilful, independent.

Both these choices (mindlessly copying, and intentionally ignoring) are equally unwise as each other.

An intentional parent will

  • Know why they do what they are doing.
  • Learn from those who have gone before them; ask questions from those who they admire
  • Separate the principal from the practice: A principle stays true, regardless of time, but our practices need to reflect the context of our life.
  • Talk to each other (husband and wife) and listen to the heart of each other and come to a consensus for your new family.

Ultimately, an intentional parent thinks.  They don’t just copy.  They don’t just react to the past.

Oddly enough this lesson is also a lesson we need to teach our kids – especially our teens.  We don’t want them just copying us, or reacting to us and our beliefs, values, passions.  Instead we want them to own things for themselves; we want them to be thinking teens.

  • We want them to know why they do what they do
  • We want them to learn from people who have gone on before them, but be strong enough to forge their own way
  • We want them to be able to see the principle (and hold that principle in their heart) and yet be real enough to find the right application of that principle in their life today.
  • We want them to talk to us, as they process what this all means.

This is a part of growing up.  They will take a part of us, and it will become a part of them, but there will be different parts as well.  Regardless of how alike they are to us, they will never be a mirror image – God didn’t make them that way!  They have a path to tred through their life, and we need to prepare them to stand strong and live their life based on what they believe (not on what we believe).

This is indeed tricky, as we have invested so many hours in teaching, training and guiding them – there comes a time where we have to let them stand on their own feet, and decide, no I’m not jumping just because you are.

 

Also sharing and linking with others:  

Throughout the week I share with one, or more of these blogs (see more details on my Link Parties page)

Monday’s Musings,  Thoughtful SpotHip Homeschool Moms Blog Hop, Titus 2 Tuesdays,   Coffee and ConversationFinishing Strong (Middle & Highschool years),  Capture your Journey,  Thriving Thursdays, Hearts for Home, A Little R & R,  From House to Home,  Fellowship Fridays,  Homeschooling Highschool Linkup, Weekly Wrap-up, Collage  Fridays

Individual Education Planning Worksheets - brainstorming every area of your child's life.

Get your Planning Worksheets

I will email you the download link so you can start looking at all the different spheres of your child's life before you make any curriculum choices. 

The download link is on it's way.

An Alternative to Chocolate

An Alternative to Chocolate

Not that I have anything against chocolate - but these jelly beans can help your kids share the message of Jesus, his love, death and resurrection at Easter time.  

The download link is on it's way.

Parent Guide: How to make your Family Bible Study Really Work

Family Bible Study is Tricky with all the Different Ages

 

But there is a way to make this a rich learning and bonding family time.  This Guide includes tips, planning worksheet, and discussion prompts.  

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download yourCharacter Certificates

Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download your Character Certificates

Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

The download link is on it's way.

Download your Cheat Sheet

 

A quick reference to help you discern between a heart attitude and a lack of skill for when your child loses it!

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on its way.

Three things for parents to pray for in the Moment.

Make God your First Response

Print out this parenting reminder to call out to God in the middle of the moment.

I'm excited to share this download with you. Watch your inbox.

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

You will receive an email shortly with the details. Watch your inbox.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Download Parenting Poster

Download Parenting Poster

Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Download Parenting Poster

Download Parenting Poster

 

Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

I will email you the download link.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Our children hear different words when we react to when we respond. Do your children hear blah blah blah when you correct them? Includes a parenting poster.

Download Parenting Poster

 

When we Respond instead of React we find a way to deal with the heart not just behaviour.

 

I will email you the download link.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Download Character Lesson Guide

You will receive an email shortly with the details. Watch your inbox.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

When family relationships get tense - look for the niggles.

Heart Focused Parenting Resource for the Intentional Parent

 

Your download will arrive in your inbox shortly. 

Print it out and use to teach the hearts of your kids.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Hearts: Heart focus homeschool

Email Course

Daily emails  (6 days) to help you walk towards being a heart focused homeschool family!

You have joined the email course. Watch your email inbox!

Find ways to Re-engage your Student

Download this checklist and stir your child's curiosity

Watch your Inbox - the Checklist is on it's way!

FREE Parenting Worksheet

This worksheet will help you move from addressing behaviour to really parenting the heart, one issue at a time.

 

 

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Parenting Support Library

Join now for extra and regular heart focus family living support.
Weekly emails and bonus content straight to your email inbox.

 

 

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Become a Better Parent

Personal growth starts with an honest assessment

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Give Effective Consequences

Think before you React

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

 

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

One Another Verses

Be Intentional in the Teen Years

Use this Cheat Sheet to remind you of how you can love your teen.

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Devotion Response Kit cover

Download your Devotion Response Kit

5 prompts to encourage the heart of your child as they learn to respond to God's Word

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Prepare a Heart focused Christmas

 

Free email course

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download your copy

Download your copy

Blending Life and Lessons - and start your journey of changing your thinking about education.

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Download: One Another Verses pdf

Download: One Another Verses pdf

Download this list of One Another verses and teach your children how to love others.

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Raising Kids with Character

ATTEND LIVE : FREE PARENTING WORKSHOP

A bonus for Heart Booster readers:  Learn how to teach character to your kids so that they can live their lives making values-based choices.

 

Live Session:  5th May 2021, 6.30pm AWST

Replay available until 16th May 2021

 

I'm so excited about this workshop - thanks for joining me!

Raising Kids with Character

REPLAY OPTION : FREE PARENTING WORKSHOP

A bonus for Heart Booster readers:  Learn how to teach character to your kids so that they can live their lives making values-based choices.

 

Replay available from 6th May until 16th May 2021

 

I'm so excited about this workshop - thanks for joining me!

Raising Kids with Character

WAITLIST

 

The Raising Kids with Character parenting workshop will be offered again this year - details yet to be confirmed.  Join the waitlist so you don't miss out. 

I will keep in you in the loop as soon as decisions have been made!

Join Heart Boost and gain access to de•vot•ed free for 1 month

 

Connecting everyday living with the Word of God

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Bonus Reading list

 

Sharing my Homeschool Belief File

Knowing what you believe and why about education and homeschooling helps you make good decisions.

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

%d bloggers like this: