I have many women say to me, I love the idea of discipling my children – but shouldn’t my husband be doing it?  There are two situations where Mums find themselves stuck wishing their husbands would pick up discipleship in the family.  First is when Dad isn’t a Christian and second when circumstances or choices hinder a Christian Dad from teaching his kids. 

 

(I actually thought of a 3rd and added that at the end)

 

Though I believe it is God’s best to have father and mother both teach and train their children in the ways of the Lord, we cannot insist, or expect our husbands to do anything where his heart is not at – this is an issue between him and God.  All we can do is pray, keep our tongue sweet, and our attitude and actions loving and honest while we do what God has put on our heart.  Of course, if your husband is against the very things on your heart, that is another matter.

 

I believe with all my heart, that you – the mother, can disciple your children (and should be).  Here’s why:

  • I am reminded of Timothy from the Bible, he was discipled by his mother and grandmother.  We don’t hear about his father, but we know he was Greek.  We can read into that – or not – but either way, the mother and Grandmother are noted for teaching him the things of the Lord.
  • We are all called (men and women) to make disciples according to the Great Commission (Matthew 28) and our children are our first disciples.
What to do when Dad doesn't do bible time with the Family?

Like I said, it is best when both Father and Mother teach their kids God’s word but your children do not need to not hear God’s word, and not be challenged to respond because it is on you the mum to teach it.  

 

My husband, Peter, worked away from home for most of our children’s childhood – kind of like Fly In Fly Out – though as a Vet.   He often wasn’t around at the times when we were doing family Bible study, or early in the mornings when the kids had questions about what they were reading in their Quiet Times.  But I never once thought Peter wasn’t being responsible for his family – we are in this together, even though I was doing the hands on, face-to-face, day-to-day discipleship.  Peter still contributed to their hearts – to their life, it just looked different than the way I did it. When he was around he worked intentionally at building relationship with the kids and sharing his life with them so that he was invited into their inner hearts and faith walk – it was just different.  

 

When circumstances aren’t as we imagined they would be, or wish they were, or thought they should be – it is easy to struggle and put it all on our husband.  But God doesn’t do that – God gives each of us the responsibility to share our faith. He gives each of us, mother and father the responsibility to raise the children.  

 

So step out in faith, and walk in the ways God has put on your heart, and believe that God will be faithful – as He always is.

 

The 3rd Reason why Dad’s aren’t Doing it:

 

So we’ve already talked about that Dad may not be a Christian, or Dad may not be around at optimum times but the third reason Dad may not be teaching his kids about the Christian life is that he doesn’t know how.  Maybe he wasn’t raised in a Christian family, maybe he was but doesn’t like the way his folks did it, maybe he has just never thought he could.  Well I believe he can – and I hope you believe your man can too.  By the way – does he know that you believe in him this way?

Over to you:

So the heart work to do is to check in with each other.

  1.  Ask yourself – am I holding back from teaching my kids about Christ and all that he taught because I think my husband should be doing it?  If your answer is yes, start thinking of ways you can step up (not usurping your husband but either adding to what he is teaching, or picking it up because it is your responsibility as much as his).
  2. Ask your husband – If he is teaching your kids from his faith – ask him if there is any way you can help him do this better.
  3. Or if he is not, and yet is a Christian – ask him about how you can do this part of Christian parenting together. 
  4. If your husband is not a Christian, continue to teach your kids, and pray for him.  

 

1 Comment

  1. Andrew & Ruth

    Thank you, Belinda. Very, very encouraging and totally agree.
    God bless you. I so enjoy your articles.
    Ruth

    Reply

Let me know your thoughts...

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

What to do when Dad doesn't do bible time with the Family?

Do you need help in your Family?

Hi! I’m Belinda

About Me

Belinda and her husband, Peter, live in the far north-west of Australia on a small farm. They have four adult children whom they homeschooled from prep-year 12. Over this time Belinda has taught and supported women both face to face and online. Her heart is to encourage families to be intentional, relational and heart focused in all areas of family living. She continues to do this in her new season of life – as her kids leave home one by one leaving her with more time.

Certified Life Coach

Further Reading:

Christian Parenting is About Discipleship in the Family:  Christian Parenting is about discipleship in the family. As Christians we are called to make disciples; and our children are the first people we are to teach.

My Husband Won’t Change – and What you can do About it:  We all know we can’t change our husband but it doesn’t mean we don’t try! But there is only one thing we can really do and that is look after our own heart.

Discover a Discipleship Approach to Homeschool:  A discipleship approach to homeschool creates a whole-life focus where we teach, train, guide and help our kids to grow in every aspect of their life.

What to do when Dad doesn't do bible time with the Family?
What to do when Dad doesn't do bible time with the Family?
Individual Education Planning Worksheets - brainstorming every area of your child's life.

Get your Planning Worksheets

I will email you the download link so you can start looking at all the different spheres of your child's life before you make any curriculum choices. 

The download link is on it's way.

An Alternative to Chocolate

An Alternative to Chocolate

Not that I have anything against chocolate - but these jelly beans can help your kids share the message of Jesus, his love, death and resurrection at Easter time.  

The download link is on it's way.

Parent Guide: How to make your Family Bible Study Really Work

Family Bible Study is Tricky with all the Different Ages

 

But there is a way to make this a rich learning and bonding family time.  This Guide includes tips, planning worksheet, and discussion prompts.  

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download yourCharacter Certificates

Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download your Character Certificates

Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

The download link is on it's way.

Download your Cheat Sheet

 

A quick reference to help you discern between a heart attitude and a lack of skill for when your child loses it!

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on its way.

Be Intentional

 

To be an intentional parent means you need to know what you want for your family, and think about how you are going to get there. 

Sign up for weekly emails that help you reach your goals for your family.

You have now subscribed and will begin to receive weekly emails.

Three things for parents to pray for in the Moment.

Make God your First Response

Print out this parenting reminder to call out to God in the middle of the moment.

I'm excited to share this download with you. Watch your inbox.

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

You will receive an email shortly with the details. Watch your inbox.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Download Parenting Poster

Download Parenting Poster

Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Download Parenting Poster

Download Parenting Poster

 

Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

I will email you the download link.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Our children hear different words when we react to when we respond. Do your children hear blah blah blah when you correct them? Includes a parenting poster.

Download Parenting Poster

 

When we Respond instead of React we find a way to deal with the heart not just behaviour.

 

I will email you the download link.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Download Character Lesson Guide

You will receive an email shortly with the details. Watch your inbox.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

When family relationships get tense - look for the niggles.

Heart Focused Parenting Resource for the Intentional Parent

 

Your download will arrive in your inbox shortly. 

Print it out and use to teach the hearts of your kids.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Hearts: Heart focus homeschool

Email Course

Daily emails  (6 days) to help you walk towards being a heart focused homeschool family!

You have joined the email course. Watch your email inbox!

Find ways to Re-engage your Student

Download this checklist and stir your child's curiosity

Watch your Inbox - the Checklist is on it's way!

Stay Heart Focused

 

When you parent the heart, the tone of your family will change. 


Weekly Heart Boost emails with practical and encouraging ideas to be heart focused in all areas of family life.

Thank you for inviting me to be a part of your family journey. I'll be in touch.

FREE Parenting Worksheet

This worksheet will help you move from addressing behaviour to really parenting the heart, one issue at a time.

 

 

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Parenting Support Library

Join now for extra and regular heart focus family living support.
Weekly emails and bonus content straight to your email inbox.

 

 

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Become a Better Parent

Personal growth starts with an honest assessment

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Give Effective Consequences

Think before you React

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

 

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

One Another Verses

Be Intentional in the Teen Years

Use this Cheat Sheet to remind you of how you can love your teen.

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Devotion Response Kit cover

Download your Devotion Response Kit

5 prompts to encourage the heart of your child as they learn to respond to God's Word

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Prepare a Heart focused Christmas

 

Free email course

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download your copy

Download your copy

Blending Life and Lessons - and start your journey of changing your thinking about education.

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Download: One Another Verses pdf

Download: One Another Verses pdf

Download this list of One Another verses and teach your children how to love others.

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Raising Kids with Character

ATTEND LIVE : FREE PARENTING WORKSHOP

A bonus for Heart Booster readers:  Learn how to teach character to your kids so that they can live their lives making values-based choices.

 

Live Session:  5th May 2021, 6.30pm AWST

Replay available until 16th May 2021

 

I'm so excited about this workshop - thanks for joining me!

Raising Kids with Character

REPLAY OPTION : FREE PARENTING WORKSHOP

A bonus for Heart Booster readers:  Learn how to teach character to your kids so that they can live their lives making values-based choices.

 

Replay available from 6th May until 16th May 2021

 

I'm so excited about this workshop - thanks for joining me!

Raising Kids with Character

WAITLIST

 

The Raising Kids with Character parenting workshop will be offered again this year - details yet to be confirmed.  Join the waitlist so you don't miss out. 

I will keep in you in the loop as soon as decisions have been made!

Join Heart Boost and gain access to de•vot•ed free for 1 month

 

Connecting everyday living with the Word of God

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Bonus Reading list

 

Sharing my Homeschool Belief File

Knowing what you believe and why about education and homeschooling helps you make good decisions.

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

%d bloggers like this: