In this 31 days series I’m looking at ways that I can make way for family life; choices that can simplify my lifestyle, making way for to me to live life with my kids! All posts can be found here.

Look after your Marriage

Marriage is the beginning and foundation for our family life.    Our marriage needs to be both protected and strengthened.  No healthy relationship ever stays stagnate – healthy relationships grow.

Obviously the best way to strengthen and grow a relationship is to spend time together though this seems to be the biggest challenge to married couples.  How do we find time to spend with each other?   But it isn’t just about finding time to be alone – it is about sharing our lives together.  This raises the second challenge and that is that we find ourselves only discussing the children or our schedules.  These topics, though necessary will not strengthen our relationship.

When we were first together we spent time talking about our dreams, passions and the things that generally interested us.  We shared ideas and it was a matter of iron sharpening iron.   Peter and I had a long distance ‘courtship’ which meant we did more talking than we did doing fun things together though I think being out and about creating memories together is an important part of a growing relationship  – and an aspect we have had to work on since it wasn’t there from the beginning.

Going on a regular date is one way that we can prioritise our marriage.  This has looked different at different times of our 21 years of married life:  when the kids were little we had stay at home dates more often than not, though we also had great friends who would babysit for us occasionally.  As the kids reached the teen years we were able to leave them at home by themselves and enjoy an hour or so together.  But to be honest, going out on a date every week, or even every month can become very expensive.  At the moment we are working on Sunday lunch at home, with the children somewhere else in the house.  With the kids being older, they are able to entertain themselves well and truly without interrupting.  There are ways and means to carve out time together – we just have to be creative.

The things that we do every day though probably have a bigger impact on our relationship.

  • Greeting each other with a kiss, and finishing the day with a hug
  • Giving complements and words of encouragement to each other
  • Daily practicing good manners and courtesies
  • Smile and look into each other’s eyes
  • Share a joke together – have a good belly laugh!

Our marriage also needs to be protected by a commitment to

  • Honesty and openness
  • Loving unconditionally, and
  • Forgiving each other

Though it takes two to tango often it takes one to step out and do something.  I disagree with the idea that marriage is 50-50.  Instead I see it as 100-100.  Regardless of what he or she is doing, we need to be giving 100%.  Who knows you may just re-ignite that flame!

Extra Note:  I write this article on marriage with a heavy heart because of marriages I know that are not in a good place; marriages that are based on control, marriages that deal with anger and selfishness, marriages that have no respect.   These relationships need more than the things I mention here – I share these thoughts to encourage those with good marriages to keep on working at their marriage.  For my readers who have a hard and maybe even abusive marriage I pray for you and I encourage you to find godly counsel – don’t do it on your own.

Enjoy the world where God has placed you

 

I’m joining many other bloggers with The Nesters challenge to blog on one topic for 31 days in October.   I hope you will revisit my series and many other blogs over the month of October.

Yes, I know October is over, but I slipped a little behind so I’m still finishing up the series!

Individual Education Planning Worksheets - brainstorming every area of your child's life.

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An Alternative to Chocolate

An Alternative to Chocolate

Not that I have anything against chocolate - but these jelly beans can help your kids share the message of Jesus, his love, death and resurrection at Easter time.  

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Parent Guide: How to make your Family Bible Study Really Work

Family Bible Study is Tricky with all the Different Ages

 

But there is a way to make this a rich learning and bonding family time.  This Guide includes tips, planning worksheet, and discussion prompts.  

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Download yourCharacter Certificates

Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

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Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

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A quick reference to help you discern between a heart attitude and a lack of skill for when your child loses it!

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To be an intentional parent means you need to know what you want for your family, and think about how you are going to get there. 

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Three things for parents to pray for in the Moment.

Make God your First Response

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Download Grow in Character Worksheets

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Download Parenting Poster

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Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

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Our children hear different words when we react to when we respond. Do your children hear blah blah blah when you correct them? Includes a parenting poster.

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When we Respond instead of React we find a way to deal with the heart not just behaviour.

 

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Download Character Lesson Guide

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When family relationships get tense - look for the niggles.

Heart Focused Parenting Resource for the Intentional Parent

 

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Hearts: Heart focus homeschool

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Find ways to Re-engage your Student

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Stay Heart Focused

 

When you parent the heart, the tone of your family will change. 


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This worksheet will help you move from addressing behaviour to really parenting the heart, one issue at a time.

 

 

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Become a Better Parent

Personal growth starts with an honest assessment

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Give Effective Consequences

Think before you React

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One Another Verses

Be Intentional in the Teen Years

Use this Cheat Sheet to remind you of how you can love your teen.

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Devotion Response Kit cover

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5 prompts to encourage the heart of your child as they learn to respond to God's Word

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Prepare a Heart focused Christmas

 

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Blending Life and Lessons - and start your journey of changing your thinking about education.

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Download: One Another Verses pdf

Download: One Another Verses pdf

Download this list of One Another verses and teach your children how to love others.

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Raising Kids with Character

ATTEND LIVE : FREE PARENTING WORKSHOP

A bonus for Heart Booster readers:  Learn how to teach character to your kids so that they can live their lives making values-based choices.

 

Live Session:  5th May 2021, 6.30pm AWST

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Raising Kids with Character

REPLAY OPTION : FREE PARENTING WORKSHOP

A bonus for Heart Booster readers:  Learn how to teach character to your kids so that they can live their lives making values-based choices.

 

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Raising Kids with Character

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Connecting everyday living with the Word of God

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Bonus Reading list

 

Sharing my Homeschool Belief File

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