In this 31 days series I’m looking at ways that I can make way for family life; choices that can simplify my lifestyle, making way for to me to live life with my kids! All posts can be found here.

Learn to say No

Why is it that we can say ‘no’ to our kids but we can’t say ‘no’ to ourselves?  When our kids want to do something we know will either affect them or the family negatively we will say, “no, sorry honey, you can’t do that today.”  We need to learn to say that same phrase to ourselves!  “No, sorry Belinda, you can’t do that today!”

We say ‘no’ because it isn’t the best.  It isn’t the best thing for our kids to do, and it isn’t the best thing for us to do.  But often we don’t listen and we crash headfirst into over-commitment and stress.

We must recognise that saying “Yes” to one thing (or person) you are saying “No” to another.  We can only do so much within one moment of time.

  • When I say yes to a meeting in my home, I am saying no to long dinner conversation with my family
  • When I say yes to a project, I am saying no to family weekends of rest and relationship
  • When I say yes to a phone call, I am saying no to finishing reading that book with my kids
  • When I say yes to a late night movie, I am saying no to quality parenting the next day!

There are consequences to all our choices.  We need to make our decisions wisely, considering the consequences; the effects of our choice on our little world – on myself, on my family and on our family purposes and goals.

Two character traits that I often revisit as this is a challenge to me are Thoroughness and Self-control.

  • Thoroughness:  Knowing what factors will diminish the effectiveness of my work or words if neglected.*
  • Self-control: Rejecting my own desires and doing what is right.*

(*definitions from Character First)

In order to say ‘no’ and keep my priorities straight, I need to know what my goals are – what is my purpose for this moment of time is. And then put aside anything that will distract me from doing that.    Keeping a routine where I have designated specific times for specific responsibilities certainly help me in being aware of how I should be spending my time.

There have been seasons in my life where I am needed fully at home – my kids and all that they need take all my energy and focus.  But there have been other times that I have been able to get involved in community projects (online or in real life – Christian or local community).  I think it is important that mums get involved in things outside of the home at some stage as this is how they will show and teach their kids to be outward looking but we do need to wisely discern the season we are in.

We need to know what our priorities are – and we need to be able to say ‘no’ to anything that will distract us from that purpose.

Enjoy the world where God has placed you.

 

I’m joining many other bloggers with The Nesters challenge to blog on one topic for 31 days in October.   I hope you will revisit my series and many other blogs over the month of October.

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An Alternative to Chocolate

An Alternative to Chocolate

Not that I have anything against chocolate - but these jelly beans can help your kids share the message of Jesus, his love, death and resurrection at Easter time.  

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Parent Guide: How to make your Family Bible Study Really Work

Family Bible Study is Tricky with all the Different Ages

 

But there is a way to make this a rich learning and bonding family time.  This Guide includes tips, planning worksheet, and discussion prompts.  

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Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

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Three things for parents to pray for in the Moment.

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Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

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Our children hear different words when we react to when we respond. Do your children hear blah blah blah when you correct them? Includes a parenting poster.

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When we Respond instead of React we find a way to deal with the heart not just behaviour.

 

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When family relationships get tense - look for the niggles.

Heart Focused Parenting Resource for the Intentional Parent

 

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Personal growth starts with an honest assessment

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Give Effective Consequences

Think before you React

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One Another Verses

Be Intentional in the Teen Years

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Devotion Response Kit cover

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Prepare a Heart focused Christmas

 

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Blending Life and Lessons - and start your journey of changing your thinking about education.

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Download: One Another Verses pdf

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Download this list of One Another verses and teach your children how to love others.

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Raising Kids with Character

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A bonus for Heart Booster readers:  Learn how to teach character to your kids so that they can live their lives making values-based choices.

 

Live Session:  5th May 2021, 6.30pm AWST

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Raising Kids with Character

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