We’ve had a lot of sickness in our house over the last few weeks –nothing terrible just a flu/virus thing that knocks everyone in the family down, one at a time. I’m the last to fall!! After everyone has been sick, and we’ve taken our days easy we get to a place where it is frustrating – we are all over being sick, over not doing anything, just over it!
With the kids being well, but me not really well enough to direct things it made me see how mum sets the tone for everything in the house and I’ve been thinking about that.
- Mum sets the tone for the energy and enthusiasm given to the tasks at hand.
- Mum sets the tone for staying on track and completing the tasks.
- Mum sets the tone for the standard of excellence.
- Mum sets the tone for the joyful attitude (or the dragging of the feet).
When I see things getting slack around here it seems like ‘all of a sudden’ stuff is not happening how it should. Chores are done, but there are little things left undone. School work is done but they’ll try any excuse to cut it short. Nothing wrong with their attitudes, but it’s not the best either. Nothing happens, or very rarely happens, all of a sudden. Generally speaking there is a build up – slowly creeping up on us till we snap!
It is easy to point the finger and say “You kids, you know better!” “You kids, you know how to do your chores!” “You kids, you know the routine!” “You kids, you know you can do some of your school work by yourself!” “You kids!” But mum sets the tone.
Do you know what changes the tone in your house?
There are a few things that I know make a different in my house:
–My involvement – I need to be doing with the kids. Though my kids are older and can do a lot of things by themselves I find that if I sit at the computer while they do things around me things start to slide. I need to be doing the same things they are doing – if it is exercise time for them, it is exercise time for me – if it is focus time for them, it is focus time for me – if it is chore time, productive time, reading time – you get the idea!! We need to live life together.
–My preparation – when I am ready for my day, and for the kids’ day, then things go much smoother. Being ready means, enough sleep, knowing what is on my calendar, knowing what lessons I want to teach, knowing what chores need to be done, knowing what dinner is going to be cooked. When I just wing it – everyone starts to wing it.
–My availability – I am physically available to my children – we live and work from the same house but there are many times that I am emotionally unavailable to them. I get distracted by a creative project I’m working on or by other spheres of my life. When I focus on something other than my children then they take (and maybe rightly so) the freedom to focus on other things too!!
What to do about it?
The number one thing that needs to change around here is my awareness of time. Though I don’t like the idea of running to a clock there does come a time when we need to be aware of the minutes slipping by. I have printed out our daily plan and have given each of the children a copy as well. The number one question that I’m asking myself, and will be asking my children is: What should you be doing now?
My hope is that I focus on doing the right thing at the right time I will become less distracted and more focused on what is important for that moment and that will set the tone for everyone in this house.
Over to you:
How do you set or change the tone in your home?
(Please share your tips in the comments)