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Relationships are important.  In our family we want to both work towards good relationships as well as protect them.  But things always go wrong – someone gets hurt feelings and we have a relational issue on our hands.

We have always taught our children that when they have hurt someone they need to apologise and ask for forgiveness.  But of course, they don’t always want to.  Should we force them to?  If we want to see changed behaviour then then it makes sense that we should force them to apologise even if they did do it on purpose, and aren’t sorry at all!  On the other hand….If we are going for the heart we need a different perspective.  Saying sorry is the right thing to do, but having the right heart doing the right thing is where we really want our children to be.

Our job as parents is to help our child (the offending child) to process what they did, why it was wrong, and what the outcome of their actions were (a hurt sibling) and how they are going to fix it.

Reaching our kids hearts is helping them change their beliefs – change from walking in the flesh (doing what they want to do –lash out and hurt their sibling) to walking in the spirit (doing what God wants them to do, show patience and self control).  We want them to come to a place where they can say, like Paul, wretched man that I am!!  The things I don’t want to do, I do….  This is their heart recognising that they need to change.  A real ‘sorry’ can only come once we are at this point.

Saying sorry instantly is often a reaction, maybe even a protective reaction so they don’t get into trouble.  But it doesn’t change their heart.

I don’t know about you but for me, if I have had a bad attitude towards someone, and I am challenged about that, it can take me a while to come to a place where I can acknowledge I was wrong, and that I don’t want to walk that path any more.  Our children are just the same.  They need time to recognise what is going on in their heart and the implications of that.  They need time to recognise that they were wrong and they need to take steps towards putting it right.

Next time your child isn’t really sorry – give him time to sort it out.  Send him to a quiet spot where he can reflect on his heart, reflect on God’s ways and come to a place where he wants to walk in God’s ways, where he is willing to humble himself and put relationships right.  As parents we cannot force heart responses, we can only make the way for that to happen.

Read more about Forgiveness over on my website:  Lifestyle-Homeschool

Individual Education Planning Worksheets - brainstorming every area of your child's life.

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An Alternative to Chocolate

An Alternative to Chocolate

Not that I have anything against chocolate - but these jelly beans can help your kids share the message of Jesus, his love, death and resurrection at Easter time.  

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Parent Guide: How to make your Family Bible Study Really Work

Family Bible Study is Tricky with all the Different Ages

 

But there is a way to make this a rich learning and bonding family time.  This Guide includes tips, planning worksheet, and discussion prompts.  

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Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

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Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

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A quick reference to help you discern between a heart attitude and a lack of skill for when your child loses it!

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To be an intentional parent means you need to know what you want for your family, and think about how you are going to get there. 

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Three things for parents to pray for in the Moment.

Make God your First Response

Print out this parenting reminder to call out to God in the middle of the moment.

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Download Grow in Character Worksheets

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Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

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Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

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Our children hear different words when we react to when we respond. Do your children hear blah blah blah when you correct them? Includes a parenting poster.

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When we Respond instead of React we find a way to deal with the heart not just behaviour.

 

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Download Character Lesson Guide

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When family relationships get tense - look for the niggles.

Heart Focused Parenting Resource for the Intentional Parent

 

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Hearts: Heart focus homeschool

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Find ways to Re-engage your Student

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When you parent the heart, the tone of your family will change. 


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FREE Parenting Worksheet

This worksheet will help you move from addressing behaviour to really parenting the heart, one issue at a time.

 

 

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Become a Better Parent

Personal growth starts with an honest assessment

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Give Effective Consequences

Think before you React

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One Another Verses

Be Intentional in the Teen Years

Use this Cheat Sheet to remind you of how you can love your teen.

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Devotion Response Kit cover

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5 prompts to encourage the heart of your child as they learn to respond to God's Word

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Prepare a Heart focused Christmas

 

Free email course

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Blending Life and Lessons - and start your journey of changing your thinking about education.

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Download: One Another Verses pdf

Download: One Another Verses pdf

Download this list of One Another verses and teach your children how to love others.

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Raising Kids with Character

ATTEND LIVE : FREE PARENTING WORKSHOP

A bonus for Heart Booster readers:  Learn how to teach character to your kids so that they can live their lives making values-based choices.

 

Live Session:  5th May 2021, 6.30pm AWST

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Raising Kids with Character

REPLAY OPTION : FREE PARENTING WORKSHOP

A bonus for Heart Booster readers:  Learn how to teach character to your kids so that they can live their lives making values-based choices.

 

Replay available from 6th May until 16th May 2021

 

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Raising Kids with Character

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Connecting everyday living with the Word of God

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Bonus Reading list

 

Sharing my Homeschool Belief File

Knowing what you believe and why about education and homeschooling helps you make good decisions.

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