This is one of the biggest frustrations parents have about giving instructions to their children “I’ve told them once, what is wrong with them!!” If you feel this way I’d like you to take a quick moment of reflection and think about how God deals with you – over and over and over he tells us stuff. Why?
- We don’t get it
- He loves us so much he wants us to get it!
This needs to be our attitude towards our children. We need to tell our children things over and over and over again until they get it.
When our child does something that takes us by surprise – I thought we’d been here before and got over this – we tend to get frustrated. Instead we need to be thankful that we have an opportunity to see their heart – to see that they don’t have it and we can do something about it.
Our role as parent is a heart job – and I know there are a lot of books around saying this – but what does it mean? It means that we, as parents, need to teach and train our children’s mind, soul, emotions, will, character and passions. I think we all know in our own life that being told something once isn’t going to change our mind, it isn’t going to change our emotions, or our character. It is no different for our children. Being a parent is a long term role – I’m not sure we even retire!
[Tweet “Being told something once will not change our children’s mind, emotions, character or will.”]
This means that if we’ve told them once we will have say it again. If we think they have it and they don’t – then we need to talk about it again.
How we talk to our children is important to. We shouldn’t take a “telling” position where we tell our children what is right and wrong – that tends to be a lecture mode. We need to talk to our children, get along side of them, share what is in our heart, what is right, what is wrong. This is more of a discipleship model. Once again reflect on your own life – how do you respond when someone tells you what to do, when someone lectures you? I tend to arch up and I have an inbuilt desire to do something different! But when someone shares their heart with me, explains the value of what they are saying and gives me time to internalise the new thought I am much more on board, ready to go with what they are encouraging me in. Why would it be any different for our children?
So if you find yourself in a position where you are feeling “I’ve told them this before ” go through this check list:
- Heart check – Am I prepared to walk through the hard yards with my child on this one?
- Did I lecture last time or have I shared my heart with my child?
- Am I prepared to share my heart again?
Over to you:
Do you connect with this?
This is such a tough thing for parents – do you have any tips?