We are now at the end of week 2 of my intentional, focused training time with our son Daniel.  Over the last two days he has been feeling a little off colour with a head cold.  He has played – sometimes with his sister but a lot of the time by himself – at a spare table with is Lego.  This is amazing!  Two weeks ago he wandered around the house doing nothing (and I mean nothing) he wasn’t focusing, he wasn’t thinking, he wasn’t being creative.  What has happened?

The main area where he was argumentative and complaining was when he asked if he could watch a video or have some computer time.  This was the core issue and I know that the more I allowed him to argue, and to win his arguments the weaker my authority became in his eyes.  This meant that he was challenging me in other areas as well. 

The number one thing I have changed is that he is not allowed to ask me to watch a video or go on the computer – that is my decision, I will allow those things to happen if it is right.  There have been consequences if he asks.

Initially he received about 8 consequences (Reflective Time Out) a day.  This quickly dropped to about 3 a day and we stayed at that point for a while.  During this time he would come up to me, get my attention and then excuse himself (he had remembered he wasn’t to ask).  If he did ask,  he would give himself his sit-time as his consequence before I could even speak – his heart was getting involved!  The last few days he has asked once at the beginning of the day when I have reminded him that those are my decisions and he is not to ask. 

Reflective Time Out – though this often happens in our house before a “crime” has actually been committed (it helps them calm down and focus on the choices they are about to make) this has worked for us in the after affect as well.  I have been getting Daniel to sit right where we are.  This has been important for me because it means it is being dealt with right then and there, helping me to stay with the training of Boot Camp.  At the end of a time (he thinks I’m watching a clock whereas I am really watching his heart) he is to come to me, talk about what he did wrong, why it was wrong and ask for forgiveness.  This may seem like an over the top type of expectation for the “crime” but when you ask for forgiveness you have to acknowledge your wrong, and you are showing your willingness to walk right.  This process helps the children own their choices/behaviour.

To be fair to Daniel I have had to be prepared with activities that would replace his desire to watch the TV.  This is actually an important observation – we were fighting his desire as most times when he asked he was told no he couldn’t watch tv.  So we weren’t breaking the habit of watching but rather the habit of wanting to watch.  This had to be replaced with a desire to be creative, to be productive.

Interesting thing happened to him last night – Friday night – our family movie night.  As soon as he was given the freedom to discuss what movie we would watch with his sister, he lost all focus, he just wanted – he knew when movie time was, it was just a lack of focus on anything else – he just wanted.  I actually pointed this out to him and he managed to go and do something productive with his time.  This showed me what a grip these desires have on him.

Though this is the last report for this Boot Camp I know I still need to be diligent and consistent with training this little boy.  My goals for him for the next week will be to continue to watch his responses to my authority – we may have igniting a desire to be creative but that needs to be protected and feed.

Individual Education Planning Worksheets - brainstorming every area of your child's life.

Get your Planning Worksheets

I will email you the download link so you can start looking at all the different spheres of your child's life before you make any curriculum choices. 

The download link is on it's way.

An Alternative to Chocolate

An Alternative to Chocolate

Not that I have anything against chocolate - but these jelly beans can help your kids share the message of Jesus, his love, death and resurrection at Easter time.  

The download link is on it's way.

Parent Guide: How to make your Family Bible Study Really Work

Family Bible Study is Tricky with all the Different Ages

 

But there is a way to make this a rich learning and bonding family time.  This Guide includes tips, planning worksheet, and discussion prompts.  

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download yourCharacter Certificates

Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download your Character Certificates

Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

The download link is on it's way.

Download your Cheat Sheet

 

A quick reference to help you discern between a heart attitude and a lack of skill for when your child loses it!

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on its way.

Three things for parents to pray for in the Moment.

Make God your First Response

Print out this parenting reminder to call out to God in the middle of the moment.

I'm excited to share this download with you. Watch your inbox.

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

You will receive an email shortly with the details. Watch your inbox.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Download Parenting Poster

Download Parenting Poster

Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Download Parenting Poster

Download Parenting Poster

 

Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

I will email you the download link.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Our children hear different words when we react to when we respond. Do your children hear blah blah blah when you correct them? Includes a parenting poster.

Download Parenting Poster

 

When we Respond instead of React we find a way to deal with the heart not just behaviour.

 

I will email you the download link.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Download Character Lesson Guide

You will receive an email shortly with the details. Watch your inbox.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

When family relationships get tense - look for the niggles.

Heart Focused Parenting Resource for the Intentional Parent

 

Your download will arrive in your inbox shortly. 

Print it out and use to teach the hearts of your kids.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Hearts: Heart focus homeschool

Email Course

Daily emails  (6 days) to help you walk towards being a heart focused homeschool family!

You have joined the email course. Watch your email inbox!

Find ways to Re-engage your Student

Download this checklist and stir your child's curiosity

Watch your Inbox - the Checklist is on it's way!

FREE Parenting Worksheet

This worksheet will help you move from addressing behaviour to really parenting the heart, one issue at a time.

 

 

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Parenting Support Library

Join now for extra and regular heart focus family living support.
Weekly emails and bonus content straight to your email inbox.

 

 

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Become a Better Parent

Personal growth starts with an honest assessment

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Give Effective Consequences

Think before you React

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

 

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

One Another Verses

Be Intentional in the Teen Years

Use this Cheat Sheet to remind you of how you can love your teen.

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Devotion Response Kit cover

Download your Devotion Response Kit

5 prompts to encourage the heart of your child as they learn to respond to God's Word

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Prepare a Heart focused Christmas

 

Free email course

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download your copy

Download your copy

Blending Life and Lessons - and start your journey of changing your thinking about education.

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Download: One Another Verses pdf

Download: One Another Verses pdf

Download this list of One Another verses and teach your children how to love others.

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Raising Kids with Character

ATTEND LIVE : FREE PARENTING WORKSHOP

A bonus for Heart Booster readers:  Learn how to teach character to your kids so that they can live their lives making values-based choices.

 

Live Session:  5th May 2021, 6.30pm AWST

Replay available until 16th May 2021

 

I'm so excited about this workshop - thanks for joining me!

Raising Kids with Character

REPLAY OPTION : FREE PARENTING WORKSHOP

A bonus for Heart Booster readers:  Learn how to teach character to your kids so that they can live their lives making values-based choices.

 

Replay available from 6th May until 16th May 2021

 

I'm so excited about this workshop - thanks for joining me!

Raising Kids with Character

WAITLIST

 

The Raising Kids with Character parenting workshop will be offered again this year - details yet to be confirmed.  Join the waitlist so you don't miss out. 

I will keep in you in the loop as soon as decisions have been made!

Join Heart Boost and gain access to de•vot•ed free for 1 month

 

Connecting everyday living with the Word of God

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Bonus Reading list

 

Sharing my Homeschool Belief File

Knowing what you believe and why about education and homeschooling helps you make good decisions.

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

%d bloggers like this: