Telling Tales is such a tricky thing.   There are two sides to it.  The first one is the side of justice – when something goes wrong something needs to be done about it.    The second side is that of human nature – delighting in the other person being in trouble, not me!

 

In order to deal with both sides, and train in character at the same time I have taught my children that they are not to take justice into their own hands.  Especially when they are young this will lead them directly to doing something wrong themselves.  They will hit back, they will say nasty words, or they will tell tales in order to get the other person in trouble!  I give them a “way of escape” – a way to escape the sin that is lurking, ready to happen in their own life. 

 

When they find themselves in a situation where they can’t do the right thing – they come to me.  They come to me not to tell tales but to get help to do the right thing themselves.  It goes like this…. 

“Mummy, I need help.” 

“What do you need help in, Sweetie?”

“Daniel hit me!”

“No, I’m sorry.  I can’t help you with that.  I can help you to do the right thing.  Would you like that?”

“Yes.  Mummy, would you help me to do the right thing when someone hits me?”

“Sure…” and off I go helping them to do the right thing even when someone has hurt them.

 

Just between parent to parent, I do deal with the hitting child because “no hitting” is a major rule in our household but… my first concern is helping the “hurt” child to do the right thing herself.  Generally the offender will see the offended coming to me and guilt will set in and they right themselves!    And because they get their relationship “right” based on a fear of reproof from me, I generally find the offence will reoccur but I’ll be on the look out for it so I can deal with it good and proper from my own observations not the words of the offended.

 

The other issue I am dealing with now is how our children report a small injury.  Their natural conversation would go like “Mum, Josh squashed my toe.”  It is obvious to me that the child just wants a bit of sympathy, that they don’t want Josh in trouble and that it was an accident.  I encourage them to say, “Mum, my toe got squashed.”  This is a way of acknowledging that it was an accident and in not saying the name (which generally gets emphasised! – human nature again!), in not saying that name it assures the person that you know it was an accident and all is well in your relationship.  It is a way to consider the person who has just accidentally hurt you – after all they have already said sorry, you are just wanting comfort from your mother!  Use words that edify – even when you’ve been hurt!

 

Dealing with Telling Tales when we are out.  One of our children is struggling with this to the point that Peter and I feel that he has lost the freedom to speak to our hostess – he needs to speak to me first about everything.  He is so characterised by telling tales that we can be sure if he comes in from play, to talk to the hostess it will be a Tale!  Last week I simply implored all the other mums if our child came up to talk to them could they please direct him to me first.   I am fortunate to have around me a group of mums who will support me in these training efforts.

 

Our children need to have a heart for doing right regardless of what other are doing and Telling Tales is the way children habitually get out of doing this.   We must see every situation as an opportunity to train our children towards God’s ways.

Individual Education Planning Worksheets - brainstorming every area of your child's life.

Get your Planning Worksheets

I will email you the download link so you can start looking at all the different spheres of your child's life before you make any curriculum choices. 

The download link is on it's way.

An Alternative to Chocolate

An Alternative to Chocolate

Not that I have anything against chocolate - but these jelly beans can help your kids share the message of Jesus, his love, death and resurrection at Easter time.  

The download link is on it's way.

Parent Guide: How to make your Family Bible Study Really Work

Family Bible Study is Tricky with all the Different Ages

 

But there is a way to make this a rich learning and bonding family time.  This Guide includes tips, planning worksheet, and discussion prompts.  

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download yourCharacter Certificates

Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download your Character Certificates

Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

The download link is on it's way.

Download your Cheat Sheet

 

A quick reference to help you discern between a heart attitude and a lack of skill for when your child loses it!

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on its way.

Three things for parents to pray for in the Moment.

Make God your First Response

Print out this parenting reminder to call out to God in the middle of the moment.

I'm excited to share this download with you. Watch your inbox.

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

You will receive an email shortly with the details. Watch your inbox.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Download Parenting Poster

Download Parenting Poster

Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Download Parenting Poster

Download Parenting Poster

 

Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

I will email you the download link.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Our children hear different words when we react to when we respond. Do your children hear blah blah blah when you correct them? Includes a parenting poster.

Download Parenting Poster

 

When we Respond instead of React we find a way to deal with the heart not just behaviour.

 

I will email you the download link.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Download Character Lesson Guide

You will receive an email shortly with the details. Watch your inbox.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

When family relationships get tense - look for the niggles.

Heart Focused Parenting Resource for the Intentional Parent

 

Your download will arrive in your inbox shortly. 

Print it out and use to teach the hearts of your kids.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Hearts: Heart focus homeschool

Email Course

Daily emails  (6 days) to help you walk towards being a heart focused homeschool family!

You have joined the email course. Watch your email inbox!

Find ways to Re-engage your Student

Download this checklist and stir your child's curiosity

Watch your Inbox - the Checklist is on it's way!

FREE Parenting Worksheet

This worksheet will help you move from addressing behaviour to really parenting the heart, one issue at a time.

 

 

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Parenting Support Library

Join now for extra and regular heart focus family living support.
Weekly emails and bonus content straight to your email inbox.

 

 

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Become a Better Parent

Personal growth starts with an honest assessment

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Give Effective Consequences

Think before you React

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

 

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

One Another Verses

Be Intentional in the Teen Years

Use this Cheat Sheet to remind you of how you can love your teen.

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Devotion Response Kit cover

Download your Devotion Response Kit

5 prompts to encourage the heart of your child as they learn to respond to God's Word

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Prepare a Heart focused Christmas

 

Free email course

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download your copy

Download your copy

Blending Life and Lessons - and start your journey of changing your thinking about education.

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Download: One Another Verses pdf

Download: One Another Verses pdf

Download this list of One Another verses and teach your children how to love others.

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Raising Kids with Character

ATTEND LIVE : FREE PARENTING WORKSHOP

A bonus for Heart Booster readers:  Learn how to teach character to your kids so that they can live their lives making values-based choices.

 

Live Session:  5th May 2021, 6.30pm AWST

Replay available until 16th May 2021

 

I'm so excited about this workshop - thanks for joining me!

Raising Kids with Character

REPLAY OPTION : FREE PARENTING WORKSHOP

A bonus for Heart Booster readers:  Learn how to teach character to your kids so that they can live their lives making values-based choices.

 

Replay available from 6th May until 16th May 2021

 

I'm so excited about this workshop - thanks for joining me!

Raising Kids with Character

WAITLIST

 

The Raising Kids with Character parenting workshop will be offered again this year - details yet to be confirmed.  Join the waitlist so you don't miss out. 

I will keep in you in the loop as soon as decisions have been made!

Join Heart Boost and gain access to de•vot•ed free for 1 month

 

Connecting everyday living with the Word of God

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

Bonus Reading list

 

Sharing my Homeschool Belief File

Knowing what you believe and why about education and homeschooling helps you make good decisions.

Thanks for being here! Your download link is on it's way.

%d bloggers like this: