We have two students who have now graduated from homeschool. As they have transitioned into further study I have noticed a few things that we could have addressed in highschool that would have made it easier for them now.

One such skill is to be able to manage their time; not just to manage a couple of hours of independent study, but to manage their study week.
 
When my kids where young I would direct their studies. I would make my lesson plans, I would organise our study schedule and my kids were to be obedient within that.  I made all the decisions. As they grew older we worked on this direction together.  But still, when it came to when we did what and how much we did – that was my call.
 
That was me micromanaging their study time.
 
Sure, they had the ability to study independently – but they did it at my direction.
Learning from this observation, the skills I want my two current highschoolers to learn is to:
 
  • learn to set study goals,
  • make decisions in light of those goals and
  • live out the consequences or rewards of their decisions.
 
For this to happen I have to stop micromanaging their study time and give them responsibility for their study hours.
 
 
With this in mind, I spent some one on one time with each of the kids, talking about their study habits: what they found hard, what they found worked for them, their goals for the next little while and how I could help them achieve those goals.

 

They set their Goals

As a result we have developed a study planner for each of them.  The goal (and it is still a goal, not a habit) is that we set our study goals for the following week on Friday.  The idea is by having a week’s work set out in front of them, they have the opportunity to get ahead and reap the benefits of not having to work every day, or they have a consequence if they don’t apply themselves and don’t finish by the end of the week, by having to work Friday afternoon.
 

I reduce the interruptions

Because it is very important for these older kids to have responsibility, accountability and consequences for the choices they make with their study I have to limit how often they are redirected from their study plans. This means what I considered a life lesson for primary age student may not be a priority for a highschool student. They have different goals in this season of their life, which will affect their lifestyle. I need to respect that.
 
But there will be times where family life, or life learning opportunities are important, so we have a system where I will sign off their study planner, excusing them from completing that aspect and incurring any consequences. Being responsible and being flexible does not need to be mutually exclusive!
 
I have been very surprised and impressed with how my kids have risen to this new system.  We have been tweaking it for a few weeks, and they still need to remember at times that they have to make decisions, instead of asking me about their study load but they are getting there and I am very pleased we have made this change.
 

It is their responsibility

Now, when they ask me if they can do something, I simply refer them to their chart; they can make that decision.  When they ask me if they can finish early (a bad habit that we have slipped into) I refer them to their chart and they can make that decision.  With their decision though comes consequences – and that is the one area that I need to uphold.  Nothing happens on Friday unless their chart is completed!
 
Which reminds me of a parenting principle: A teen makes their choice but a parent holds them accountable to that choice.
 
The highschool years is more than giving our kids an education that prepares them for a career – it is about fine tuning the habits that will last them a lifetime. Habits that will help them with their further study, with a career, and with any endeavour they pick up.

Further Reading:

Do you Know the Purpose of the Highschool Years? The highschool years are for more than just preparing for employment – they are the years where we fine tune the character and skills for adult life.
As a Mum do you Delegate? Do you delegate to your kids? It is important that you do. When a mum or dad delegates to their kids we tell them they are responsible.

Throughout the week I share with other blogs – check out my Link ups and Party page

Be Intentional

 Every week I'll email an encouragement to stay intentional and relational in all your family life.  But for now, download your set of reminder posters - posters which I've used over the years to remind me to keep my eyes and heart on what is important.

Thank you for joining me. You have successfully subscribed and will receive an email from me shortly. (You never know which folder emails will land in so keep an eye out for my "Thank you" email.) Stay in touch... Belinda - Live life with your Kids!

Download your worksheet and start working on your family vision statement.

Get the Family Vision Worksheet

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Individual Education Planning Worksheets - brainstorming every area of your child's life.

Get your Planning Worksheets

I will email you the download link so you can start looking at all the different spheres of your child's life before you make any curriculum choices. 

The download link is on it's way.

Get a copy of the Jelly Bean Story

I will email you a download link.  You can print and share this story with your kids and their friends.

The download link is on it's way.

This parent guide helps parents plan family bible study and use discussion techniques to teach the important lessons.

Bible study Guide for Parents

Guide includes tips, planning worksheet, and discussion prompts. I will email you a download link.  

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Obedience looks a bit different as our kids grow older. Download this parent/teen discussion guide to understand this issue of obedience in teen years.

Download your Free Discussion Guide

Don't assume your kids are rebelling - instead talk to them about what Obedience looks like now they are older.  I will email you a download link.  

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download yourCharacter Certificates

Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download your Character Certificates

Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

The download link is on it's way.

Over 20 different verbal expressions divided into heart or self control to help parents discern these behaviours.

Download your Cheat Sheet

I will send you the link to download this cheat sheet that will help you discern between a heart attitude and a lack of skill.

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

You will receive an email shortly with the details. Watch your inbox.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Download Parenting Poster

Download Parenting Poster

Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Download Parenting Poster

Download Parenting Poster

 

Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

I will email you the download link.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Our children hear different words when we react to when we respond. Do your children hear blah blah blah when you correct them? Includes a parenting poster.

Download Parenting Poster

 

When we Respond instead of React we find a way to deal with the heart not just behaviour.

 

I will email you the download link.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Pin It on Pinterest