living with a toddler for 31 days button

With so much information out there for parents it can be overwhelming at times.  I hope with this series you aren’t trying to implement something new each day – you will soon become exhausted, your little person won’t know what has hit them, and it won’t take long before you walk away from being intentional and say it is just too hard.  We need to read information with a thinking cap on, and pick and choose the bits that will help our own family.  But we can also store information for another day (and that is the benefit of reading and studying as a parent).

One of the thermometers I have to gauge where my family is at is the idea of peace – when my home is peaceful things are going well, when things are not peaceful there is something for me to think about.  I’m not saying peaceful means perfect – I can have a busy, hectic day, with a wilful toddler not responding to me and there still be peace in our home.  This peace largely has to do with my own heart.

Peace comes by

  • Focusing on Jesus – not on me, my problems or my kids.  Focusing on Jesus is more than having a devotional time at the beginning of the day, it is about having him as my friend, talking to him through the day, doing things that will please him.
  • Dealing with my responsibilities – When I spend time maintaining my home the family can function and I can spend time training whatever needs to be trained.  If I’m always behind the eight-ball then other things distract me.
  • Keeping balance in my day, and margin in my life.  When I am running from place to place, from task to task, I don’t have time for anyone to need me.  I don’t have emotional space to be kind and loving.  I need to arrange my day so I have time for my family and their needs.
  • Having a time to refresh myself.  Though the demands of motherhood are particularly intense when we have babies and toddlers we need to remember that we are a whole person with many roles and facets to our life.  We need to find someway to find time to refresh (and it will be different for every mum).  When my kids were little I took 1 hour a day, during their nap time, to work on a craft project.  Another thing we did was Peter would take the kids for a Saturday every so often, giving me at home time by myself (which was something I craved).  Other dads send mum out for coffee, or exercise, or to do a class.

So my first step when I feel things are out of control in our house is to check my own life.

The next I do is observe the kids behaviour and see which behaviour is being the most disruptive.  That then becomes my training focus.

  • Observe when this negative behaviour is happening, and if there are any triggers.
  • Consider what is missing, what do they need to learn to do well in this area; thinking about these things helps me be specific in what I teach them.
  • Decide on situations that happen in our family life that can give me an opportunity to teach and train.
  • Tweak our family routine, to ensure this training spot happens regularly.
  • Plan how I’m going to teach and what (if any) consequences are going to happen.

This is truly being intentional – and being proactive instead of reactive.  When we just wing it, go with the flow and deal with it we will be reactive – we will react out of inconvenience, embarrassment, tiredness.  When we do that we are open to being unfair and inconsistent giving our kids mixed messages.  I’d rather be intentional, pick my battles, and address the issues with clarity.

We cannot deal with every issue in our kids lives all at once, we cannot teach every skill we want them to learn (be it a focusing skill, or kindness, or doing their chores) in one week, or 31 days.  It all takes time.  Please gather information, and pick your battles wisely.

 

You can see the rest of my Living with a Toddler for 31 days series here.

Or find more 31 day series here.

Be Intentional

 Every week I'll email an encouragement to stay intentional and relational in all your family life.  But for now, download your set of reminder posters - posters which I've used over the years to remind me to keep my eyes and heart on what is important.

Thank you for joining me. You have successfully subscribed and will receive an email from me shortly. (You never know which folder emails will land in so keep an eye out for my "Thank you" email.) Stay in touch... Belinda - Live life with your Kids!

Download your worksheet and start working on your family vision statement.

Get the Family Vision Worksheet

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Individual Education Planning Worksheets - brainstorming every area of your child's life.

Get your Planning Worksheets

I will email you the download link so you can start looking at all the different spheres of your child's life before you make any curriculum choices. 

The download link is on it's way.

Get a copy of the Jelly Bean Story

I will email you a download link.  You can print and share this story with your kids and their friends.

The download link is on it's way.

This parent guide helps parents plan family bible study and use discussion techniques to teach the important lessons.

Bible study Guide for Parents

Guide includes tips, planning worksheet, and discussion prompts. I will email you a download link.  

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Obedience looks a bit different as our kids grow older. Download this parent/teen discussion guide to understand this issue of obedience in teen years.

Download your Free Discussion Guide

Don't assume your kids are rebelling - instead talk to them about what Obedience looks like now they are older.  I will email you a download link.  

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download yourCharacter Certificates

Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download your Character Certificates

Though true character is driven by internal motivation, our children will appreciate when we see that they are growing in character.

The download link is on it's way.

Over 20 different verbal expressions divided into heart or self control to help parents discern these behaviours.

Download your Cheat Sheet

I will send you the link to download this cheat sheet that will help you discern between a heart attitude and a lack of skill.

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Download Grow in Character Worksheets

You will receive an email shortly with the details. Watch your inbox.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Download Parenting Poster

Download Parenting Poster

Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Download Parenting Poster

Download Parenting Poster

 

Learn to respond to your child in a way that changes their heart.

 

I will email you the download link.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Our children hear different words when we react to when we respond. Do your children hear blah blah blah when you correct them? Includes a parenting poster.

Download Parenting Poster

 

When we Respond instead of React we find a way to deal with the heart not just behaviour.

 

I will email you the download link.

Thank you for being here - your download link will arrive shortly.

Pin It on Pinterest