It is all very well to say that we have a fresh new year, new start and all that, but what to do when you are feeling that nothing is working and you have no idea where to start for this “great new start”!!
I guess I’m a bit of an optimist – there is always an answer.
About 10 years ago we had a two bedroom house, and all four kids were in one room. I had one friend who kept saying – you can’t have four kids in one room, you’ve gotta extend. This wasn’t helpful ‘cause we couldn’t afford to extend. My mum on the other hand would say to me, what is the one thing that is bothering you at the moment and how can you change that. We would talk over the one issue, for sure enough it was generally only one issue that I was struggling with at any one time. We would always come up with a do-able solution.
This is how I try to approach times when I feel stymied.
- Break it down to particular issues – be clear and define it
- Know what is important to me, what standards I want to aim for and what goals I have in mind
- Brainstorm possibilities
- Have an attitude that a solution is possible
The main character trait that is required in this situation is Creativity – here are some pointers from Character First
Creativity is approaching a need,
a task or an idea from a new perspective.
Being Creative you will:
- Use your talents for good. (Know your strengths and weaknesses, know how you tick as a solution won’t be outside what you can work with. For example, for me this means I’m a morning person, and I’m a visual person.)
- See things from more than one perspective (which is why it is good to brainstorm with a friend but we need to be open to what they say, the reason we need help is because we are not seeing opportunity to fix things by ourselves, we can’t very well knock the very help that is being offered but at the same time don’t be swayed into something you don’t have a vision for.)
- Use principles to solve problems (to know what you want to achieve is good but knowing why that is important to you is a foundation for solving any issue.)
- Learn all you can (once again, be open minded and learn from not only your circumstances but from those who are helping you brainstorm)
It is all too easy to use our circumstances as an excuse; that won’t help us find solutions but rather keep us focused on the impossibility of it all. Complaining that the kids’ room was a mess, and wishing for a larger house wasn’t very helpful. Alternatively seeing that their toys were accumulating and had no real home set me on a path towards creating orderliness by making a storage area. Complaining about the hours my husband works doesn’t get us anywhere, but considering his lifestyle as I make decisions about our activities helps create family life together.
Ask yourself, are you using your circumstances as an excuse? Or are you diligently seeking solutions?