Homeschoolers tend to brush off the question of socialisation.  And fair enough too because it is flung at us without any due consideration.

People have challenged us on our children’s social skills at the very same time as their teen year old sat sulking on a chair, or as our children have encouraged their shy child to come and play.  These people ask the question without thinking about what they are really saying.

Likewise, we brush it off without really thinking it through.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I don’t think socialisation is an issue for whether we should homeschool or not – it is a Furphy* but we are social beings so we need to pause at some stage and ask ourselves – how are our children going with social skills?

 

Define Socialisation

First of all we need to define socialisation.  People who ask the question seem to equate it with having friends – and yet I think having friends is the result of social skills not the sum total. When I consider this issue I want our kids to:

  • talk to people – even people they haven’t met before
  • show respect in social situations
  • make friends or more importantly can they be a friend
  • be comfortable around people of different race or religion
  • resolve relational conflict
  • initiate looking after the disconnected, unloved, or isolated
  • stand up for their own values in the face of opposition
  • talk to people of all ages – young to old

and I am sure this is only a short list to start you thinking about what are the important socialisation skills you want for your children.

Our children won’t automatically gain these skills – they need to be modelled, taught, practiced and expected.

 

Model, Teach, Practice Social skills

It starts with you being a model – how do you treat your spouse?  Your parents?  Your friends?  People you come in contact with – the butcher, the plumber, the person on the phone?

The first relationships our children have where they can apply social skills is their sibling relationships.  Do you expect your children to treat each other with respect?  To show manners towards each other?  To resolve their conflicts on their own?  These social behaviours won’t happen overnight – but they can gradually become a part of your family relationships.

Key social skills we have our children practice:

  • Greet each other each morning, and say good night before they go to bed
  • Make eye contact when they speak to each other
  • No yelling  throughout the house
  • Listening to someone speak, even if they aren’t really interested
  • Saying please and thankyou excuse me, bless you!
  • Be quick to help each other (without being asked)
  • Resolve niggles, before they get to conflicts
  • If one has had an outing or activity the others ask questions about their day
  • Recognise when a sibling is speaking or thinking, and interrupt with respect
  • Recognise and respect each others boundaries and needs
  • Recognise good in each other – give each other complements

 

So when people talk to you about the homeschool S-word stand tall and give them a well socialised response:  be calm, gracious and informed.  Tell them, yes, your children engage with people and are learning how to be social people.

 

I know talking about Socialisation is always a good rant – but lets talk about the skills you find important – what would you add to my list? Please leave your thoughts in the comments

 

 

 

We need to make sure that our children are growing in socialisation skills - not just swipe the S-word as not relevant.

Was this helpful? Pin to share.

 

*Furphy – after I wrote this blog post I realised “furphy” is an Australian word – explained here.

 

Another post on this issue of Socialisation: The Negative Effects of Socialisation in a Positive Environment

 

ihomeschoolnetwork s-word

Also linking this post with iHomeschool Network S-word blog hop

 

 

Throughout the week I share with one, or more of these blogs:

Monday: Mom’s the Word,  Monday’s Musings,  Thoughtful Spot,  Meetup Mondays

Tuesday: Hip Homeschool Moms Blog Hop,  Titus 2 Tuesdays,   Tuesday @10,  Intentional Tuesdays,

Wednesday: Coffee and Conversation,  Finishing Strong (Middle & Highschool years),  Women with Intention,  Whole Hearted Home,   Coffee for your Heart

Thursday: Thriving Thursdays,  Hearts for Home,   Shine Blog Hop,  All things with Purpose,  A Little R & R,  From House to Home,  Grace at Home,  After my Coffee

Friday: Fellowship Fridays,  Grace and Truth Christian linkup,  Faith-filled Friday, Faith and Fellowship,

Saturday/Sunday:

 

 

Pin It on Pinterest

Be Intentional

 Every week I'll email an encouragement to stay intentional and relational in all your family life.  But for now, download your set of reminder posters - posters which I've used over the years to remind me to keep my eyes and heart on what is important.

Thank you for joining me. You have successfully subscribed and will receive an email from me shortly. (You never know which folder emails will land in so keep an eye out for my "Thank you" email.) Stay in touch... Belinda - Live life with your Kids!

Download your worksheet and start working on your family vision statement.

Get the Family Vision Worksheet

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Download your worksheet and start working on your family vision statement.

Get the Family Vision Worksheet

I will email you the download link.

The download link is on it's way.

Individual Education Planning Worksheets - brainstorming every area of your child's life.

Get your Planning Worksheets

I will email you the download link so you can start looking at all the different spheres of your child's life before you make any curriculum choices. 

The download link is on it's way.

Get a copy of the Jelly Bean Story

I will email you a download link.  You can print and share this story with your kids and their friends.

The download link is on it's way.

This parent guide helps parents plan family bible study and use discussion techniques to teach the important lessons.

Bible study Guide for Parents

Guide includes tips, planning worksheet, and discussion prompts. I will email you a download link.  

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.

Obedience looks a bit different as our kids grow older. Download this parent/teen discussion guide to understand this issue of obedience in teen years.

Download your Free Discussion Guide

Don't assume your kids are rebelling - instead talk to them about what Obedience looks like now they are older.  I will email you a download link.  

Thanks for being here! The download link is on it's way.