Our children desire to encourage each other to good works – it is a natural outworking of their love for each other and their love of doing good, that what is right in the eyes of God. We have had discussions, though, to clarify the difference between "encouraging to good works" and "bossiness". They so much want their siblings to do the right thing, they want to be an encourager in God’s ways but they know, that at times, their tone comes out bossy! It is a hard line to define but we are working on it!
In one particular conversation with my daughter I encouraged her that she should “encourage” her sibling just once and if they don’t respond to walk away and leave it. She came back to me and said, “The Bible says, go to your brother 3 times and if they don’t listen go …. Etc etc”. (I don’t know how many times our children quote scripture back at me – keeps me on my toes!)
I came from it from this perspective….
If she doesn’t have the self-control to go three times without turning bossy then she has the freedom to only say it once and then walk away.
The scenario in the Bible was written to adults so that we can work towards you getting the self-control in your voice/tone and your emotions so that you can approach your siblings 3 times but until then… do it once.
It is a boundary on yourself so that you don’t do the wrong thing. Approaching your sibling emotively and bossily is not right. Whenever we approach anyone we much be right in our own hearts.